The Playground Zone

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In my spare time, I’m a Recess/Cafeteria Aide. A friend was an aide and I let her talk me into joining her about 2 years ago. I run Comfy Cozy out of my home so I thought it would be “good for me” to get out for a few hours a day and I could see my son in a different light.

It’s quite a learning experience and I thought I’d pass some of my knowledge on to you. Why? Because I’m nice that way!

1 – TEACH YOUR KID TO TIE THEIR SHOES. Please. Teach them so they won’t trip over them while they’re running around. Teach them for me because when it’s 20 degrees outside, my fingers get REALLY cold tying 30 pairs of shoes every day. And if your kid is in 2nd grade and tells you I wouldn’t tie his/her shoes, they aren’t lying.

2 – KIDS GET DIRTY DURING RECESS. Playgrounds are NOT hospitals. They are covered with dirt, grass, mulch and puddles. Dirt turns to mud, grass stains clothes, mulch is worse than the first two, and no matter what we say the kids will run through water. Don’t get mad at them when they come home with dirty pants or wet shoes, just get over it and shop at Walmart til they’re 11!

3 – WATCH THE WEATHER CHANNEL. If you don’t think your kid is going outside when it’s 20 degrees, 100 degrees or “drizzling”, think again. Hats, coats, and gloves are a good thing and black is NOT cool. It’s isn’t that I’m not sympathetic, but I’m not sharing my hand warmers or raincoat with anybody!

4 – POLE DANCING LESSONS AT NOON. My first day on the playground, I notice some little girls going down the fireman’s pole. Not so much jumping and sliding down it, but twirling around it with their heads thrown back. Now, I know these girls haven’t been downloading pole dancing lessons on their iPods and to them it’s showing off how good they can twirl. However, if there are any moms out there interested in learning some great moves, stop by tomorrow at noon.

5 – ACCIDENTS HAPPEN. I don’t have eyes in the back of my head and when there are 65 munchkins running around, sooner or later someone is going to get hurt. I promise, I wasn’t on my cell phone or texting my BFF when your daughter collided with another kid or tripped running across the “blacktop.” They’ll get a hug, mulch brushed off their new pants and sent to the nurse if necessary. Usually they bounce back (much like “Bumbles”) and are back to playing in a few minutes.

6 – FOXES and HOUNDS and HORSES, OH MY! All of the following events happened in the span of 25 minutes in a place I like to call, “The Playground Zone” (cue music):

• Boy playing football is down and screaming.
• Two kids running from opposite directions have head on collision.
• Two more kids running from opposite directions have head on collision.
• Ambulance drives onto playground for boy who, as it turns out, has a broken leg.
• Construction truck drives in/out while kids are running by without looking.
• A fox, yes a FOX, runs onto the playground 30 feet from students.
• A couple Hounds come running after the FOX.
• Students start running TOWARD the FOX. Me, I’m standing between the animals and the kids, blowing my whistle and screaming for them to “stay back”.
• About 60-70 howling Hounds come racing across the playground after the Fox, followed by the riders on their horses.
• Students line up. Recess is over.

Happy Hour started early that day.

Most days aren’t always THAT interesting! All in all, I’ve come to enjoy this gig and your kids –well, most of them anyway!

I hope this gives you a better picture of what goes on at recess. I’m sure the aides at your school are pretty much like me. We do our best to keep them safe, dry their tears when they get upset and we’ll push them on the swing until our arms fall off.

What’s your favorite recess memory? Do your kids ever tell you about recess? Play along and leave me a comment below.

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