10 Things Every New Mom/Mom-to-Be Should Know

Here’s my list of things I’ve learned during my 2 pregnancies and since the birth of my 2^nd son, that I wish were in a book somewhere – believe me, I’ve read most of them…

1. If you have a boy, they can wake up “happy” pretty much from birth, and they discover every boy’s favorite toy usually before the age of 1 year.
2. You will more than likely poop on the delivery table. You won’t notice even if you aren’t drugged to the gills because you’re too busy bringing a new life into the world. Also – don’t worry about it – both the nurses and the doctor have seen everything you can imagine, they don’t mention it, and they whisk it away so fast you won’t even realize you did it. Another bonus – you are giving birth…poop is going to be far from the worst smell to hit the room that day!
3. All those adorable outfits you got at your baby shower? Keep them handy! Once your baby is eating baby food, you’ll be changing him so often that if the outfits are upstairs, they’ll most likely never get worn. I swore this wouldn’t be the case with my 2^nd son, but grabbing a clean outfit from the laundry is just easier when you’ve got a busy baby and a kindergartener to deal with.
4. Also baby food related, make sure you’ve got laundry detergent with enzymes in it and plenty of OxiClean on hand. It doesn’t matter how many times you wash those little outfits, they’re going to need soaking in OxiClean and washing in an enzymatic detergent to get all the baby food out. Bibs help, but I’ve yet to see a bib that covers the sleeves of those adorable outfits!
5. You are better off mopping and vacuuming more often and letting your baby play on the floor than you are holding him on your hip for long periods of time. Even the Supernanny, Jo Frost has talked about hip-holding. There are two reasons for this: 1) Your baby will be far more independent and less clingy, which gives you time to do what you need to do, and 2) You’ll be saving yourself months of back pain.
6. Early labor can last for DAYS. I had no idea that early labor (that “worse than your period, but not quite full-blown labor” crampy, achy stage) could last so freaking long! I was in early labor for 4 days, and they kept sending me home. I think the only reasons they finally decided to induce me are because the baby wasn’t gaining anything by cooking longer, and because lightening virtually shot out of my eyes and disintegrated the doctor when he said they would probably send me home for the 5^th time.
7. Don’t stress out because you haven’t lost the last 10-15lbs of baby belly yet and the baby is nearly 1 year old. They say 9 months in, then 2 years out. This has shown to be pretty accurate for me, and believe me, once you’re chasing after a crawling/walking/running baby/toddler, that weight will come off virtually effortlessly!
8. Save yourself some money! If you didn’t get all the large, expensive baby toys you registered for, don’t bother purchasing them new, check out e-bay or see if there are any listings for them in your local paper. Yard sales and flea markets can be great places to pick these expensive items up on the cheap as well. You will more than likely have to clean a used toy, but the reason I say buy used is that some babies love those $150 jumpers and some use it for 5 seconds, and then ignore it. The same goes for swings, baby gyms, etc. If you are concerned about recalls, you can check the Consumer Product Safety Commission’s website at http://www.cpsc.gov.
9. Some pregnant women, during their late pregnancy, can have very fun dreams. I never knew women could have dreams that actually end in orgasm until I was pregnant with my 2^nd son, and damn, did we get screwed during adolescence!
10. I’ve been told by two women who have 5 children each (thanks ladies!) that the transition from 1 to 2 children is the most difficult, and that it gets easier with more children. The reasoning behind this is that you are going to have each of your feet in a different world (for example, I have a nearly 1-year-old and a 5-year-old, so I’ve got one foot in baby/toddlerhood and the other in kindergarten). More than 2 children are also easier to deal with than just 2 because there is additional distraction. When you have 2 children, they’re constantly picking at each other, but if you’ve got three or more, the angry/sad/upset child can play with the non-offending child until he’s ready to play with the one who pissed him off to begin with. Also, older children are more than able, and sometimes love, helping with younger siblings.

I know some of these aren’t all that nice, and some of them are very nice, but from what I’ve seen they’re all true. What are some things you wish people told you before your child was born or before you found out you were pregnant? (For example, I’ve got 2 step-sisters who had boys years before my 1^st was born. You’d think one of them would have warned me about infantile morning wood, if you get my drift!)

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